


capsize.

by noorasaetre



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Platonic Soulmates, Romantic Soulmates, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-26
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-09-20 02:04:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9470558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noorasaetre/pseuds/noorasaetre
Summary: In a world of soulmates, Noora was content with seeing in black and white. She didn't really need a soulmate, not with the bad experiences she'd had with them. Sure, seeing colours was probably great and all, but she could do without the hassle of having someone connected to her forever. It was really twisted trick of the universe. But when she inadvertently comes across her soulmate, the person cosmically designed for her... Well, it's not what she'd expect. And definitely not who she wanted. William Magnusson is everything she's not, and everything she'd spent her life avoiding. Noora refused to engage in the universe's sick plan. But really, the universe couldn't care less that Noora hated her soulmate.





	1. The Invitation

It was a grey day in Oslo. But then again, every day was a grey day in Oslo. In fact, every day was a grey day everywhere. At least, it was for Noora. She could tell it was sunny though, so maybe it wasn't a grey day for some people. People who saw in colour. Noora was not one of them. She didn't mind it, though. She'd always thought the whole soulmate thing was a bit overrated and stupid, anyway. She didn't need to see in colour. She was perfectly okay with seeing in black and white. 

She checked herself in the mirror one last time. She wore a grey shirt, with grey jeans and a grey overcoat. Those were probably not their actual colours, but those were the ones she could see. Finally, she applied some lipstick, which she knew was a dark shade of red, but made her lips just look a darker shade of grey, which Noora thought looked good. 

"I'm leaving for school!" she shouted to whoever was listening in the apartment. She heard grunts and moans of acknowledgement from behind her roommates' doors and gave a satisfied nod. It wasn't like she would get anything more this early in the morning. 

When she arrived at Nissens, she found the girls standing outside in the courtyard, gossiping about something or other no doubt. As she approached, she heard a few names flying around, but recognised none of them. 

"Hey," she chirped, stopping by them and closing the little circle they formed. The girls greeted her back cheerily. "What are this morning's news?" 

"The Penetrators are having a party this Friday," Vilde jumped right in, like Noora assumed she would. "We were just discussing how we were getting in." 

Noora raised an eyebrow, slightly confused. "We're trying to get into Penetrator parties now?" 

Vilde looked at her like she'd just grown a second head. "They're the coolest parties, of course we're trying to get in." 

"We need the cred," Sana added. 

"Besides, there's a good chance I'll get to hook up with William if we go," Vilde said, almost jumping up and down. 

Noora looked at her, brow furrowed. "Who exactly is William?" She was still relatively new in the city, and everyone seemed to know each other at this school, despite the fact that Vilde and the other girls were first years like she was. 

"He's a third year, the Penetrators bus chief. He's only the coolest and handsomest guy in the school." Vilde said this with dreamy eyes. Noora couldn't help but scoff. 

"And you want to hook up with him because...?" 

"Because then maybe next time I'll get to have sex with him." 

Noora froze for a second. "Sex? Vilde, you don't even know the guy. And besides, I thought you were one of those people who would wait for your _soulmate_." She spat out the word with an extra dose of disdain. 

Vilde shrugged. "The way I see it, it'd be better if I already had some experience when I met my soulmate. And besides, it's like Sana said, we need the cred." Vilde agreeing with Sana? That didn't happen very often. 

Noora's shoulders slumped. She really didn't see a point to trying so hard to get into a party, or for Vilde to try so hard to hook up with some random third year. But she knew she was outnumbered. Out of all the girls, she was pretty much the only one reluctant on partying. She wasn't going to win this one. "Okay, so what are doing?" she asked, more for the other girls' sake than for her own curiosity. 

"Eva knows Chris, he's on the bus," Vilde replied, a sly smile on her lips. 

"I don't _know_ him," Eva said, rolling her eyes. "We met at that first party, and it was only because I thought he was _this_ Chris," she added, pointing at Chris, who smiled sheepishly.

"She's been chatting with him on Insta," Sana interjected. 

"Only because you liked all of his pictures on my account!" Eva countered, getting a little flushed. Noora couldn't help but feel a tinge of concern. Eva did have a boyfriend after all. And, unlike the other girls, she saw in colour. Which meant she'd found her soulmate, and it was Jonas. This whole deal with the Penetrator guy could only cause unnecessary trouble. But she knew better than to say anything. So she just kept listening to the girls talking on about the party and other random things as they walked into the building. 

 

***** 

Later, after classes had finished, Noora walked to her locker to dump her books and collect her homework. As she juggled opening it with trying not to drop everything she held in her hands, the task proved not to be so easy. Painstakingly slow, she typed in her code and turned the knob, but just as she thought she had successfully pulled it off, some papers she'd tucked between the pages of her Geography textbook fell on the floor. Let out an angry breath, she bent down to pick them up. 

"You seem to have your hands full there." 

She was startled by the voice, looking up so suddenly her neck snapped. She found Eva standing above her, smiling down at her. "Yeah, well, you could at least help me instead of standing there making fun of me." 

The other girl threw her hands up. "Sorry, I wasn't making fun of you." Noora stood up and tucked her things neatly into her locker. "So... About this morning..." 

Noora glanced at her friend, eyebrow raised. She didn't know why Eva felt the need to explain anything to her, but she didn't stop her, either. "What about it?" 

Eva shrugged. "I don't know, you just seemed a little... put off. About the whole party thing." Noora waited for her to go on, nodding her head a little for encouragement. "Look, I know it sounds weird, this Chris thing, but it's nothing. Really. It's just about the party. I swear." 

Noora folded her arms across her chest. She honestly didn't see why Eva felt like she had to say any of this to her. Maybe she thought she was judging? She wasn't, not really. She was just concerned for her, and her relationship. She sighed. "Eva... I don't think you're messing around with Chris, or any other guy. I just... Well, I was a little worried. He might get the wrong idea if you keep flirting with him to get into these parties. Is it really worth it, risking your relationship for that?"  

Okay, so maybe Noora wasn't the biggest believer in the soulmates business. That didn't mean she didn't want people who did have them to be unhappy. Especially not her friend. But she also thought that being someone's soulmate wasn't enough to make a relationship work. After all, the universe can only do so much for two people. The rest is really up to them. She just didn't want Eva to end up hurt. 

"I'm not risking anything. We've just been talking. That's all," Eva assured her. 

"Does Jonas know about him?" 

Eva froze for a moment, and Noora had the answer she needed. She gave her a look that said she didn't approve. "You think I should tell him?" 

"It's better he hears it from you than from school gossip. You know how people are." 

Eva nodded. "Yeah, you're probably right..." 

"I'm _definitely_ right," Noora corrected, a hint of a smile appearing on her face. Eva smiled, too. Noora knew she had the best intentions. Eva had a heart of gold. It was just that, sometimes, she got herself into trouble she could easily avoid because she was afraid of dealing with the consequences. Noora was just trying to protect her from that. She slung her arm around her friend's shoulder, and together they walked out of the school building and towards the tram stop. 


	2. The Party

The week passed in a blur of classes and gossip fests masked as Russ meetings, and suddenly it was Friday. Eva had successfully earned all five of them invitations to the Penetrator party, but truth be told, Noora was less than excited. She still didn't understand why they had to mingle with a bunch of fuckboys who want nothing more out of life than to party and drink themselves senseless. What was the point?  

But the worst part of it all was listening to Vilde go on and on about this William guy. Whoever listened to her talk about him would think he had a dick made out of gold or something. Noora was thoroughly unimpressed by the whole of it. True, she'd never even seen him, but no boy was that great, and especially not one with the kind of reputation he seemed to cultivate.  

Since her attention had been brought to the subject, Noora was more and more aware of all the girls sporting Penetrators sweatshirts with his name highlighted in dark grey on the back. You'd think the whole soulmate thing would discourage people from sleeping around, but that wasn't the case, and it definitely didn't apply to this William fellow. Noora had to admit she was curious to finally see him, see what all fuss was about. 

"Eskild, I'm headed out, I'll be back by one, tops, okay?" she told her roommate when they were both standing in the kitchen after dinner. 

"You're going out? Where? With who?" Eskild asked, resting his chin on his hand and batting his eyelashes in an exaggerated manner. 

"None of your damn business!" she retorted, reluctant to give him any sort of information on her evening plans. 

"Oh, come on, Noora! You never go out, this is a big deal! You have to tell Eskild all the dirty details," he implored. 

"There are no dirty details! What is wrong with you?" She couldn't help but laugh, though. Eskild was so dramatic sometimes. 

"Fine, don't tell me. But don't expect me to nurse your hangover tomorrow, because I won't." 

Noora rolled her eyes. "Okay, first of all, I'm not drinking. And second of all, you wouldn't be able to nurse my hangover even if you wanted to, because you'll be too busy nursing your own." 

Eskild squinted at her, looking falsely hurt. He dropped it after a beat, though. "Okay, I can't be mad at that, because you're right. But that was mean!" 

Noora shrugged, raising her hands innocently. "Alright, I'm off. I'll text you if I think I'll end up dead in a ditch." 

Eskild waved her off. "Then I'll go running and take a selfie with your corpse!" 

 

***** 

Noora was bored out of her mind. Everyone around her seemed to be either drunk or in the process of becoming it. This was so not her scene. She was only still here because of Eva, because she asked her to stay with her. Chris was chatting up a guy by the stairs, Sana was... somewhere. And Vilde had been glued to a guy whom Noora could only presume was William all night. She hadn't seen his face though, just the back of his head. And from what she could see, he just looked like a poor imitation of Dorian Grey. Nothing remarkable about him in the least. 

"Are you sure you don't want a drink?" Eva asked her for the tenth time in the past half hour.  

Noora shook her head. "No, I'm really fine." 

"So, you don't drink? At all?" Eva seemed incredulous, like it was impossible to comprehend. 

"No, I don't drink. At all," she confirmed. "I just don't see the point." Well, that and Noora was the world's lightest weight when it came to alcohol. She couldn't remember one single time when she got drunk. She always blacked out and didn't remember anything she'd done, or just passed out completely. She'd rather remember every minute of her nights. 

"The _point_ is to get drunk," Eva replied with a laugh. 

"Yeah, well then I don't see the point of getting drunk." 

"To have a good time?" 

"You can have a good time without getting drunk, Eva." 

"Well, you're not exactly having a blast, now are you?" 

Noora shot her a look. "Excuse me if there are things I'd rather be doing other than partying with a bunch of horny third years trying to get into first year girls' pants." 

Eva threw up her hands. "Okay, I get it. I just think that maybe you should... loosen up a little. Try to have a good time." 

Noora slumped her shoulders. Maybe Eva was right. After all, she was here. She could at least _try_ to have a little fun. She looked around. The crowd consisted of Penetrator guys and a group of preppy girls who she was pretty sure were the same ones that kept dissing Eva every chance they got. Her gaze travelled back to her friend. She could ask about it. It seemed as good a time as any. But Noora wasn't one to pry. She kept to her business, in hopes others kept out of hers. 

Her phone started buzzing in her pocket. She slid it out and was surprised to see a friend of hers from Madrid was calling. Perfect! It was just the excuse she'd been hoping for. She glanced at Eva. "I have to take this." 

"No, you can't leave me alone!" Eva's eyes flickered towards Penetrator Chris, who stood across the room and had been eyeing her all night.  

Noora followed her gaze. While she  didn't peg him for the most trustworthy of guys, she didn't think he posed that big of a threat, not here anyways. She turned back to Eva. "Just talk about politics with him or something. That'll turn him off." 

"But--" 

"It's just a few minutes. You'll be fine." And with that, she stood up and walked towards the front door. As she stepped outside, she was surprised to see two people making out right there. She recognised Vilde's white hair, and the back of William's head. She tried to be quiet and walked off around the corner to pick up her call. "Hola!" 

She talked with her friend for a few minutes before she saw her friends erupting from the front door and running like hell away from the house. "I have to go, bye!" she shouted into the phone and chased after them. "What the hell is going on?" she asked Chris when she caught up. 

"Sana threw water on a girl's face and flipped them right off, we had to dash before they started ripping our hair out," the other explained as they slowed down. Well, that put an end to the party pretty quick. 


	3. The Encounter

"You threw water on Ingrid's face! Now we're never going to get invited to any parties ever again!" 

Noora rubbed the bridge of her nose between her fingers and Vilde went off on a rampage because of what happened on Friday night. She'd been at it for ten minutes, and it was way too early for any of it.  

"Vilde, come on, it was just a little incident. And besides, I bet they're not innocent in the matter," Eva said, looking at Sana for confirmation. However, she said nothing. None of them knew exactly what had happened, and she wasn't telling them anything either, for some reason. 

"It doesn't matter! The Penetrator guys will just think we start drama and won't want us at their parties anymore," Vilde countered, looking so angry, you'd think it was her Sana had thrown water on. 

"I've said it before, and I'll say it again. We don't need them or their parties. They're just a bunch of horny teenagers. How helpful can they be?" Noora said, finally interfering in the conversation. 

Vilde looked at her like she was retarded. "Noora, being a Russ is _all_ about the parties. If no one wants to party with you, you might as well not even be a Russ at all." 

Noora rolled her eyes. "Vilde, it's really not that deep. They'll get over it. Don't worry about it, okay?" It wasn't like Noora _cared_ about being a Russ, not necessarily. She'd just joined the bus to hang out with the girls, and every time Vilde started going off about "Russ duties", she almost regretted it in the first place. But she liked the girls, and even Vilde was cool when she wasn't fussing over stuff. "Besides, that party was getting boring anyway, at the very least we provided some much needed entertainment." 

Vilde giggled. "Oh, but it wasn't boring to me. I was outside making out with William. _God_ , he's such a good kisser." She paused for a second before adding, "I think we're going to have sex this weekend." 

The whole group erupted in exclamations of disbelief. "What, why?" Noora asked. 

"Because! Might as well get it over with. We've been texting since the party and he asked if I wanted to meet him on Friday," Vilde explained, a huge smile on her face. 

"But Vilde... You know nothing about him," Noora tried to reason. She couldn't believe she was actually considering this. 

"Yes, I do! I know enough to want to have sex with him. Relax," she told her when she saw the frown on Noora's face. "I know he's not my soulmate. I just think that I can use him to get my first time over with and then be ready when the right person comes along. I mean, he's as good a person as any to help me get this out of the way." 

That was a very practical way to look at it. Noora sighed, shrugging her shoulders. "Your body, your choice." 

 

***** 

"Are you on the pill?" 

Vilde came up from behind Noora with hopefully eyes, as she was walking to her next class. "Huh, no," Noora replied. "Why?" 

"Oh, I just thought I should take some precautions before Friday." 

Noora stopped in her tracks. "Vilde, you can't just borrow the pill like that. And you can't certainly start taking it days before you have sex." 

Vilde rolled her eyes. "Yes, I know that! It's just... Going to a doctor is such a bother, you know? I wish I could just... order something online." 

Noora raised an eyebrow. "How about a condom? Seems to work for most people." 

"Oh, but William tends not use one." 

Another eyebrow raise. "Why? Is he so keen on spreading his seed around?" 

Vilde laughed, waving her off. "No, it's not that. I guess he just assumes every girl is on the pill." 

"That's a pretty presumptuous thought, don't you think? You're clearly not on it." 

"Because I'm a virgin. I never needed to be on it." 

"And you're not about to start like this!" 

"Then what do _you_ suggest I do?" 

Noora paused. "Go to the school doctor. Ask for advice, I don't know." 

Vilde scoffed. "I can't go to the school doctor about this." 

"Of course you can, that's why there's a school doctor." 

Vilde folded her arms across her chest, thinking it over. "Okay. But you have to come with me. All of you." 

"All of us? Eva and Sana and Chris? Me?" 

Vilde nodded. 

"Why?" 

"Because..." Vilde shrugged, suddenly embarrassed. "I'm a little scared," she admitted in a lower tone. 

Noora's expression softened. Of course she was scared. Noora would've been too. Well, she _was_. 

"Okay. We'll go with you." 

 

***** 

The doctor hadn't been much help. So the girls had resorted to getting drunk in Eva's room before William arrived, which Noora didn't approve of, but she thought that maybe if Vilde passed out, then she wouldn't go through with this craziness. 

"Guys, you have to leave," Eva told them. 

"We can't, William isn't here yet!" Vilde replied. 

"Yeah, but my mom can't find you guys down here, she'll freak!" 

A voice called from upstairs for Eva then. They all looked up and then back at her. "We'll wait here for him. He should be arriving any minute now," Vilde assured. 

"We can leave out the window," Chris offered. 

Eva sighed. "Alright. But be quiet!" And then she dashed upstairs. Chris and Vilde kept drinking, with Noora watching them. The whole thing seemed like a crazy dream. 

"Why won't you just wait for your soulmate, Vilde?" she asked, more out of curiosity than morality or faith in the soulmate bond. 

Vilde shrugged. "I guess I'm a little scared he won't like me. You know, if I'm... inexperienced." 

"That's crazy," Noora said immediately. "Of course he'll like you. It's not like he has a choice." With that, she nudged her friend's shoulder and laughed. Vilde laughed, too. 

"I think about it sometimes, though. Finding him. Seeing colours. It sounds so... magical." Vilde paused for a moment. "I asked Eva about it the other day. She says It's like suddenly the world is completely new, and you get to discover everything again. I think that sounds so lovely. To discover everything again, especially if you have someone to share it with, you know?" 

Noora wondered about it too, sometimes. But the notion of soulmates was tainted for her. Her parents were soulmates, and it caused them to shut themselves out of the world and focus only on each other. It was toxic. Noora didn't want that for herself. She wanted a life full of people, her friends. Not just one person forever. Not even if that person was perfectly tailored for her. 

The doorbell rang upstairs, just as Vilde jumped off the bed. "He's here," she announced. "How do I look?" Noora looked her up and down. Her dress was a lovely shade of grey that might've been a colour. 

"You look great. Now, let's go before Eva kills us." Noora opened the window and helped Vilde out, then being propelled out by Chris, who followed suit.  

The three of them wandered onto the garden, only to be stopped by Eva's call. They looked over at the door and saw three people standing on the porch: Eva, her mom and-- 

 _Oh._  

There was a bright light in Noora's eyes all of a sudden, and then the world changed. She stumbled back as if she'd been pushed, struggling to open her eyes completely. 

"Noora, are you okay?" She heard Chris's voice in her ear. Softly, she nodded. "You didn't even drink, how are you like this?" 

Finally, Noora opened her eyes and looked back at the porch. And there he was. Staring right back at her, like he'd been hit in the face. And just then, she realised. She wasn't seeing him in black and white. Instead, she could see the flushed pink tone of his cheeks, and the dark brown of his hair. The only semblance of greyscale about the image was his hoodie, which was still light grey. And then it hit her, like a punch to the gut. 

William. He was her soulmate.


	4. The Colours

What was Noora supposed to do now? Under normal circumstances, she might try to get to know the person, maybe see if it was worth a shot. But that person was William. And she couldn't just go after him, for a variety of reasons. First of all, she didn't like him at all. From everything she'd heard from Vilde, he sounded arrogant and selfish and insanely spoiled. Not exactly her type. And secondly, Vilde. They'd ended up having sex after all, even after the big reveal for the both of them, which just went to show how much he probably believed in the whole thing anyway. But Noora couldn't do that to Vilde, especially since it was clear that her infatuation with William was not going away any time soon.  

It'd been two weeks since that encounter at Eva's house, and despite his clear signs of disinterest, she kept pursuing him. Noora thought the was no way Vilde could come out of this unscathed, but she wasn't about to contribute to her pain. The whole situation was messy, and she didn't want any part of it. It was best for everyone if Noora just stayed away. 

So she made a decision. She would just ignore it. She didn't need a soulmate anyway. Look at where it'd gotten her parents, after all. She was just fine pretending the whole thing had never happened. Everything was exactly the same. Except now, she could see colour. 

It took some getting used to. She sometimes found herself staring at something she'd seen a thousand times before, but that looked totally different now. Eva was right. It was like rediscovering a world you already knew. That part excited Noora more than enough to compensate her lack of interest in her actual soulmate. She imagined revisiting Madrid now, see all the places she loved in an entirely new way.  

She pushed every thought of William out of her head and focused on that. She didn't want to think about him at all. She figured if she didn't think about him or acknowledge the whole thing, they would just go their separate ways and that'd be that. Not everyone stayed with their soulmate anyway. Some people just met theirs and things didn't work out, so they left each other alone. Being soulmates wasn't enough to make two people stay together. Noora wouldn't kid herself like that. And it wasn't like she wanted to spend her life with someone like William, even if he was supposed to be the one person the universe deemed was tailor-made for her. The universe didn't get to decide that. 

"Do you like this shirt?" Eva asked her. They were in her room, Noora on the bed, and Eva sorting through her clothes. Noora looked up from her phone and looked at the item in question. She recognised the shape of it, but the colour not what she'd expected.  

"Oh," she let out. She thought she'd known more or less how it looked, but this was a surprise. She saw the confusion on Eva's face at her outburst, and was quick to remember that she was pretending not to see colours. "Huh, what colour is it?" It didn't make much of a difference. Noora wasn't supposed to know what any colour looked like. 

Eva gave a little laugh at her reaction. "Huh, red. Why?" 

Oh. So that was what red looked like. "No reason. Keep it, it's nice." 

Eva gave her a weird look before going back to her closet. "Did you hear Vilde today? Talking about William on and on." 

Noora rolled her eyes. She wished she hadn't. All they ever heard about these days was that name, that guy. It was hard to ignore his existence when she was reminded of it twenty times a day. "For someone who's so keen on finding a soulmate, she sounds pretty hung up on this guy." Noora couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt for lying about William to her friends. But it was for the best. 

"I don't see why her having a little fun is a bad thing. It's just sex." 

"Is it? Because it seems to me she's just one creepy letter shy of stalker." 

Eva laughed. "I'm sure it's not like that. It's just that she lost her virginity to him. You always get attached to that person." 

"Yeah, but... Well, you've only had sex with Jonas. And he's your soulmate. That makes sense to me. Vilde doesn't." 

"Yeah well, when does Vilde make sense to anyone, really?" Eva put a hanger back in her closet and turned to Noora, a slight frown on her face. "Why do you care so much, anyway?" 

Noora froze. "Care? I don't _care_. I mean, I do. About Vilde. I just feel like this could end badly." 

Eva shrugged. "It's just sex, Noora. I know you don't get it, but you will when you have it." 

Right. That didn't make her feel better. 

 

***** 

The bell rang. Noora zoomed out of the classroom. Her mind was not in the right place for school, but thankfully the day was over. She headed for her locker to drop off her things, but ran into Vilde on the staircase landing. "Hey," she greeted. 

Vilde was looking out the window at something outside, and was startled by Noora's voice. "Oh, hi." 

Noora stopped beside her, trying to see what she was looking at. "What's going on?" 

"Oh, nothing. I was just looking for William." 

Noora raised an eyebrow. Oh, boy. "Why?" 

Vilde looked at Noora. She could see in her face that she knew Noora wouldn't understand and would probably scold her, but still she said. "I really think we might have a good chance, you know. At being together. We just click, I don't know. You probably don't get it." 

Noora scoffed. "Oh, I get it. I get that he's got you obsessing over him when he's probably not giving you the time of day. Honestly, Vilde, you can't do this to yourself. He won't just stop sleeping around for you, that's not how guys like him work." 

Vilde physically deflated. Noora's shoulders sagged. And then she noticed the other's sweatshirt. The Penetrators logo jumped out at her. "Turn around," she ordered. Vilde frowned, but did it. Just as she expected, William's name was bolded on the back in red. It was even worse a sight than when she saw it on other girls in a darker shade of grey. "Vilde, why are you wearing that?" She didn't answer. "You can't just walk around wearing that sweatshirt hoping he'll notice. Dozens of other girls wear that on any given day. You're just walking around like a prize." 

"I'm not a prize, Noora!" Vilde cried. 

"I know that! But everyone else will only look at you and see yet another girl who slept with William. Do you really want that?" Noora knew she was probably being harsh. But she could see Vilde going down the rabbit hole fast, and she didn't want her to get hurt when she hit the ground. "He's not even your soulmate, Vilde. He's not just going to stop seeing other girls for you." 

"He could be my soulmate, you don't know that. You can't see what I see," Vilde countered weakly. 

"If he were, you would've been shouting it from the rooftops." Well that, and Noora already knew it for a fact he couldn't be. But she couldn't tell Vilde that. She just couldn't. 

The girl sagged. "Yeah... You're right, I know you're right... But it's just... I just can't help but feel like if he doesn't want me, what makes me so sure my soulmate will, you know? It's not like you meet them and they're just forced to like you. It doesn't work like that." 

Noora would know. "Listen, Vilde. You don't need him. And he can't give you what you're looking for. Not really. The right guy will give you everything, I promise." 

Vilde looked at her and smiled weakly. After a while, she nodded. "Yeah. You're right." 

Noora smiled and threw an arm around her shoulders. "Of course I'm right." 

 

***** 

"Eskild, come on, you've been in there for two hours!" 

Noora stood by the door of the bathroom, waiting to go in. But when Eskild went in, he took over it completely for way longer than any human could possibly need a bathroom. She couldn't figure out what it was he did in there that could possibly take so much time. "Eskild!" She called again angrily. 

Her phone buzzed in her pocket. She slipped it out and saw a new message from an unknown sender. Opening it, she frowned at the contents. 

 

**Have you been avoiding me or something?**

 

What the hell? 

 

**Who is this?**

 

Noora's heart raced at the thought of possible senders. The reply didn't take long. 

 

**Your soulmate ;)**

 

Wonderful. So, it wasn't a stalker. Just an asshole.

 

**How did you get my number???**

**I asked around.**

**A classmate of yours gave it to me.**

 

Noora's brain worked through every person in her classes she'd given her number to, but no one jumped out.

 

                                **Tell me their name. It appears I have  
some contact management to do. **

 

**Come on. Won't you give me a chance?**

 

She scoffed out loud.

 

**Why should I?**

 **You're sleeping with my friend.**  

**Because apparently we're a perfect match.**

**And you'll have to be more specific.**

 

Unbelievable.

 

**Please.**

**We're NOT a perfect match.**

**We're not even a match at all.**

****We're polar opposites of every  
                                                  spectrum known to man.**  **

**The universe seems to disagree with you.**

 

Noora was practically slamming her fingers on the screen. 

 

**Well then , screw the universe!**

**Playing hard to get, then?**

**One of us has to.**

**What's the point?**

**The point is for you to leave me alone.**

**I don't want to talk to you.**

**You can't just ditch me like this.**

**Watch me.**

 

And then, Noora blocked his number. She didn't need him texting her like that, trying to come after her. She didn't care he was supposedly her soulmate. The universe had made a mistake, and she didn't feel like dealing with it. 

"Alright, I'm done!" Eskild called out as he opened the door. 

"Finally!" Noora burst out angrily and stormed inside, slamming the door behind her. 

"You're welcome! Jesus..." She heard Eskild say outside. 

Why was she letting William get to her like this? Well, it didn't matter. She didn't plan on seeing him again, or talking to him, or texting him. She wanted nothing to do with him. Not one thing. 


	5. The Confrontation

How Noora had found herself at another Penetrator party, she didn't know. But it was Halloween, and all the girls got dressed up and went. She was having a good time, dancing with her friends and ignoring the hot looks sent her way from the other side of the room. She was determined not to find herself alone tonight. She wouldn't give William any chances to corner her. She didn't want to talk to him, she didn't want to see him.  

She caught sight of Vilde. She was sitting on one of the couches, in her cute cat costume, craddling a glass of wine and staring at the dancefloor. Or, rather, _someone_ on the dancefloor. When Noora followed her gaze, she wasn't surprised to find William at the end. He was talking to a girl whose name she thought was Sara. Well, it actually looked more like flirting, but at this point, Noora just assumed William flirted with everybody. He looked weird with the red paint on his face. She made a face of disgust at the whole scene. Had he no sense of decency? Was he just going to continue going around hooking up with people? Not that she cared. Or so she told herself. She didn't _want_ to care. Just like he didn't. 

Her mind travelled back to that afternoon when he texted her saying she should give him a chance. She'd blocked his number. She was convinced she didn't want him in her life in any way. That she couldn't do it. Because of Vilde. And because he was a jerk. But later that night, when it was quiet and dark and she was alone with her own thoughts, she kept wondering, what if she did give him a chance? What could happen? She'd ended up unblocking his number, but didn't say anything. If she changed her mind, she could just block it again. 

But so far, he hadn't contacted her again. At least he could take a hint. Even if she'd taken that hint back in her mind. Maybe it was for the best. After all, he was right there flirting with another girl days later. How trustworthy could he be? 

And now Noora was the one staring. She shook it off and focused back on Vilde. Poor Vilde. She, however, clearly couldn't take a hint to save her life. But Noora didn't have the guts to tell her that. She thought about how earlier that week, she'd told them she'd sent him a topless picture and he hadn't replied. Noora felt like petting her hair and saying, "Oh, _honey_." But Sana beat her to it. Albeit, a bit harshly. But she didn't say anything the rest of them weren't thinking. Except maybe Eva. She seemed a bit put off by it all. 

And yet, there Vilde was. Still hung up on a guy who couldn't be less interested. Noora felt a pang of pity. Then, she looked over at Eva, sitting on another one of the couches nearer to where they were dancing. She looked sad, too. Noora didn't know why, but if she had to take a guess, it probably had to do with Jonas. Eva hadn't told her anything, and while Noora didn't know all that much about them, she had known this whole Chris thing was going to blow up in her face. Best guess, she hadn't told him about it. Or maybe it was something else. Either way, none of the girls' attempts to get Eva to dance were fruitless. Soon after, she disappeared and they never saw her again. 

 

***** 

The party ended without any beverage-throwing-related incidents for them. But the following week, Vilde seemed to have descended into the boy-crazy rabbit hole. She was still wearing that odious sweatshirt, and talking about how she and William could be together, how she felt a connection, how it was different. It sounded like gibberish to Noora, and it wasn't just because of her own connection to William. When she saw him at the party, he just seemed so genuinely... not interested. For Vilde to be talking like this... It just couldn't end well. 

"You have to stop, Vilde. For real," she eventually said one morning on the staircase, after overhearing her talking about her and William and Eva and... Chris? Whatever that was about. 

"Stop what?" Vilde asked innocently. 

"All of it. This," she gestured at her torso, which donned The Sweatshirt... again. 

"But--" 

"No! No 'but's! Do you really think he's going to change for you? Really? When you're not even his _soulmate_?" If he hadn't stopped when they both found out about each other, he definitely wouldn't stop for Vilde. It was just the cold hard truth. 

"Plenty of people marry people who aren't their soulmates, that's no indicator of anything!" Vilde argued. 

" _Marry_? Vilde, are you serious?" Noora couldn't believe her own ears. 

"Okay, that's not what I meant... But why are you being like this? Are you jealous or something?" Her tone was laced with a poison Noora didn't know she had in her. 

"Why the hell would I be _jealous_? I'm just worried about you, Vilde. This isn't healthy. You're hung up on a guy who doesn't give two shits about you. You're walking around in his clothes, like he branded you, like he owns you. It's sick!" 

Vilde was startled. Noora hadn't realised she'd started shouting at some point. She took a deep breath and calmed herself down. Eva looked between the two of them like she was watching a tennis match. It took the other a moment to speak. "You're right," she said at last, her voice breaking slightly. Was she going to cry? Noora hadn't meant to make her cry. "You're right," she repeated, this time firmer. 

"Yeah..." Noora said her voice softer. "You have to stop waiting for a guy to give you his approval. Stop walking around the school showing that _thing_ off like a badge of honour. It isn't. You're just going around like you're his trophy." 

Vilde nodded a little. "You know... I know you're supposed to think it's not your problem... That if a guy doesn't like you, he's the one with a problem... But how do you think that?" 

Noora's shoulders sagged. She could see Vilde's self-esteem deflating. She'd been seeing it deflate for a while now, though she wasn't really sure when it'd started. She walked closer to her and put her arm around her shoulders. "The right guy will like you no matter what. And besides, why waste your time with some random boy when your soulmate is out there, waiting?" 

Vilde sniffled a little. "I thought you didn't really believe in the soulmates thing." 

Noora shrugged. She had no choice _but_ to believe. She'd seen multiple evidence of it, the most recent being the very boy they were discussing. "I just don't think it should be everyone's goal, the one thing you strive for. But I believe in them. I've seen it happen enough to believe it. It's just... not all there is." 

Vilde seemed to be mulling this over. Meanwhile, Noora looked over at Eva. She was watching her back with intent focus, which made Noora frown in slight confusion. Something was definitely up with that girl. But she wouldn't ask. She would tell when she was ready. If ever. 

She turned back to Vilde. "Now, let's go take off that awful sweatshirt. Give it back to him and take back your dignity." 

 

***** 

Noora tried asking herself why she was so bothered by Vilde's obsession with William. Obviously she was worried about her friend, she didn't want her to get hurt when she realised it was never going to end the way she wanted. And the fact that she was so obsessed was kind of creepy all in itself. After all, she knew next to nothing about William himself, other than school gossip and whatever he'd told her, which was probably not much. For Vilde to throw around words like _marriage_ was premature to say the least. 

And then there was the dreaded factor. Noora's own feelings towards William. They hadn't spoken since he'd texted her, and definitely hadn't talked face to face. But the knowledge that he was her soulmate was enough to make her think about him every so often. Increasingly more often, too. Sometimes, Noora caught herself following him with her gaze when she saw him at school. Twice now, they'd made eye contact at a distance, and she hadn't been able to look away until he was gone.  

She tried to remind herself that it wasn't worth it, that he was just a fuckboy and a jerk and he didn't deserve her attention. That he didn't care for it. But one of those times, when they were looking at each other from opposite sides of the courtyard, he'd shot her the smallest of smiles, a secret meant just for her to see. It'd made her heard jump, and sent chills all over her body. And then Vilde would mention his name and the memory of _their_ relationship overshadowed any thought Nora had of a future with William. 

He was everything she despised in a person. He was arrogant and selfish and spoiled. He took advantage of people like Vilde to get what he wanted (sex), and then didn't care about the aftermath. And while one could agree that the point of casual sex was that it was just that, _casual_ , not everyone could handle it. Vilde clearly couldn't keep feelings out of it. It was insanely selfish to assume that everyone felt the way he did. But then again, Vilde was the one who wanted to have sex with him to begin with. She was the one who said she could use him to get over her first time... 

It didn't matter now. William couldn't be oblivious to the feelings Vilde had so clearly developed for him. And he didn't do anything about it. Sure, he didn't _have_ to, but any decent human being would just put it to rest, make sure she knew it wasn't going to happen between them. But he didn't. Instead, he kept talking to her, inviting the group to parties. And then making out with other girls right in front of her. It was horrible for her. 

But what if he _didn't_ know? The thought had crossed Noora's mind more than once. What if he hadn't actually picked up on it? Outside their group, Vilde was pretty collected about most things. Noora was used to seeing her flushed and babbling about him, but that was between friends. It was different than when she was with him, certainly. And sure, she'd been wearing his sweatshirt almost every day, but so did dozens of other girl. One more wouldn't make that big of a difference to him. 

Was Noora excusing his behaviour? Or was she excusing Vilde's? Both? Neither? Everything felt jumbled in her mind. The whole situation was just confusing and messy. And, to make matters worse, it was getting harder and hard to pretend she still saw in black and white. Everything was suddenly so bright. She wanted to ask Eva which colour was which, but she couldn't keep doing that. Not after her reaction when she asked about the shirt. It was too risky. So Noora was stuck having to enjoy colours in secret, admiring them in silence, unknowing of what to name them, but not finding them any less fascinating. 

 

***** 

"I was thinking about what you said," Vilde said. They were all sitting outside in the courtyard, on one of the tables. Noora had been checking her Instagram out of boredom when the other girl spoke, and it was a moment before she realised she meant her. 

"What?" she said a slight frown. 

"About William. About not walking around like a trophy. And you're right. I won't be a prize to be paraded around." Vilde was talking with a determination Noora had only seen reserved for bus matters. With a flourish, the girl set The Sweatshirt on the table between them. "I'm giving that back to him. I don't want it anymore." 

She smiled. "That's good, Vilde." 

Sana looked between them. "What are you talking about?" 

Vilde squared her shoulders proudly. "We're talking about my dignity." 

Sana scoffed. "You have none. Next topic." 

Vilde deflated a little. "I mean it! I refuse to walk around being treated like this." 

"Like what?" Sana asked. "Like you had sex with the most popular guy in school. Because you were the one who wouldn't shut up about it. What's changed?" 

Vilde sneaked a glance at Noora. "I was called to reason." 

The look didn't escape Sana's notice. Hardly anything ever did. She looked at Noora with a quizzical raise of her eyebrow. Noora shrugged and shook her head. She was glad Vilde was taking back control of herself, but this conversation was starting to sound a little over the top. 

"There he is now," Vilde said, and all the girls looked over at the school building's door. Surely enough, there was William, walking out with his friends. Noora's heart gave a very unwelcome squeeze. 

"You're doing this now?" Eva asked, looking at all the other girls, a panicky look to her face. Something was off with that girl, it had been for days, but Noora still hadn't brought herself to ask her what. 

"Seems as good a time as any," Vilde replied, gathering her things and standing up. 

"But he's with his friends--" Chris started. 

"I don't give a fuck who he's with!" And with that, she stormed off. Hurricane Vilde. The girls shared a look before running after her. This was so not going to end well. 

They caught up with her just as she stopped before William. He seemed unimpressed by her theatrics. Noora avoided his eyes at all costs, but it was hard. He kept trying to look at her. _This is so not the time for these games..._ she thought. If he knew what was about to happen, he wouldn't be doing this. 

"Hey! Here," Vilde called as she shoved The Sweatshirt into his chest. He raised a puzzled eyebrow, looking between her and Noora. _Stop, please stop_... If he kept doing that, Vilde would notice. "You can have it back. If you expect me to walk around like some sort of trophy for you, you're very wrong. I'm not your prize, and you don't get to treat me like--" 

William lifted a hand to stop her, and she did. "Okay, what's your name again?" Oh boy. Noora glared at him. This was so low. 

"V-Vilde," she answered, her voice already faltering. She'd walked over here in a surge of confidence, but it was quickly dwindling. Oh Vilde... 

"Okay, _Vilde_. Whatever made you think you were a... trophy, as you say; forget it. You're not my prize. And you know why?" He paused with a dramatic flare. Noora had to resist rolling her eyes. "Because you're not good enough." 

Noora's jaw fell to the floor. Her eyes were so wide they might've never close again. What... the _fuck_? She stared at him in a mix of indignation and... something else she couldn't identify. Knowing herself, the beginning of boiling rage. She tore her eyes away to look at Vilde. She looked nothing like the girl that'd walked over here to serve him back his sweatshirt and tell him what was what. She looked like she was about to cry. She was frozen in place for a moment before running into the building behind him. 

Okay, this needed to end now. Noora didn't care that he was her soulmate, she didn't care that just the night before, she'd been contemplating giving him a chance, none of that mattered now. He'd just insulted her friend. And he'd regret it. 

She stepped in front of him. A smirk danced on his face. She'd wipe it right off. "And who are you?" he asked innocently. 

 _Funny_. "What an awesome guy you are! I just can't help but wonder what led you to have such an inferiority complex that you have to tear down first year girls in order to feel good about yourself. Were you never complimented as a child?" His face twitched, and Noora knew she'd hit a nerve. She kept prodding. "Did mommy never compliment your drawings? Or was it daddy, never going to your graduations?" she said with a mock pout. Then, she let out a laugh. "Did you not have pubes on your dick in seventh grade and the other boys made fun of you for it?" The guys behind him opened their eyes wide. A satisfied smirk danced on Noora's lips. "Well, whatever it was, you seriously need to get over it."  

She looked right at him then. His smirk was gone, which gave her a real sense of pride. But the colours of his face reminded her of their reality, of the connection. How could the universe possibly think they were made for each other? In that moment, she couldn't imagine any kind of future where she held any sort of positive feelings towards William. And yet... And yet her heart gave the same unwelcome squeeze it'd given when she saw him walk out. And then her eyes locked on his, and she noticed how the brown in them was flecked with bits of green, lit by the sun. 

She didn't know whether she was speaking to herself or to him when she said, "Stop walking around like a fucking cliché." 

He kept looking at her with a weird look on his face. He had to have been offended. She'd just destroyed him in front of the whole school, in front of his friends. And yet, just as she was walking past him, bumping his shoulder on the way, she saw the smirk growing again on his face. What was he smiling about? Noora couldn't stand the sight of him anymore. She couldn't see his face. She willed her heart to stop beating so damn fast. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey again! I just wanted to let you guys know I posted an extra chapter of this fic as well, which is Noora and William's first meeting from his perspective, as well as the days following it. You'll find it in my works under "capsize. - extra chapters". I really hope you like it, and that you liked this chapter as well. I love reading your comments on this, they always make me smile, so please keep them coming. Have a lovely day!


	6. The Fight

**Unblocked my number yet?**  

 

The text came unexpected, so much so that the sound of her phone ringing almost gave Noora a heart attack. She stared at the screen for a long time, reading the text over and over. 

She knew she shouldn't reply. Her brain kept telling her it was a bad idea, that she'd get herself into unnecessary trouble. But there was something else... and it told her she should reply. 

Her fingers started moving before Noora realised she'd made a decision. 

 

 **It depends.**  

 

The reply didn't take long at all. You'd think a guy as _cool_ as him would at least wait a few minutes. 

 

 **On what?**  

                                                     **What you said to** **Vilde**    
**was really shitty.**  

                                      **Do you really think I** **wan** **t to** **talk**    
**to you after that?**  

 **I'm sorry.**  

 **..... Ok?**  

 **I mean it.**  

 **Things got out of hand.**  

 **You think?**  

 **But don't act like she's innocent.**  

 **She came to me, remember?**  

 **I didn't say that.**  

 **You just didn't have to**    
**be such an asshole.**  

 **You might be right.**  

 **I just figured I'd just kill the problem**    
**right at the root.**  

 **Now she knows I don't like her that way.**  

 **You destroyed her.**  

 **You destroyed her self-esteem**    
**with that comment.**  

 **Bullshit.**  

 **You can't destroy someone's self-esteem**    
**with just one comment.**  

 **Yeah, well maybe so.**  

 **But you've been treating her like shit**    
**these past few weeks.**  

 **What?**  

 **I've been treating her the same way**    
**I treat every girl.**  

 **I didn't promise her anything.**  

 **And she knows we're not even soulmates.**  

 

At the mention of their bond, Noora stopped short. She read the message again. _She knows we're not even soulmates_. Had he...? 

 

 **D** **id you tell her????????????**  

 **Wow, calm down.**  

 **I didn't tell her.**  

 **About any of it.**  

 **But she knows.**  

 **How could she not?**  

 

Noora sighed in relief. 

 

 **Right, yeah...**  

 **Honestly** **Noora** **, how can we**    
**make something out of this**    
**if you don't trust me?**  

 

Noora rolled her eyes. 

 

 **I'm not talking to you.**  

 **You broke my friend's heart.**  

 

She convinced herself of this. She convinced herself that she wanted nothing to do with William. She put her phone on silent and went back to her Norwegian assignment. But, later that night, when she was about to go to sleep, Noora checked her phone. There was one last text. 

 

 **And you're breaking mine,** **Noora** **Sætre** **.**  

 

***** 

The next morning, Noora was standing outside with the girls when Eva came towards them, after saying goodbye to Jonas. "Fucking hell, Noora. You destroyed William yesterday." 

Noora gave a small smile. Never mind the fact that she'd been texting him less than twelve hours later. 

"Yeah, you were legendary," Chris agreed. 

"Thanks..." Noora said meekly, looking at  Vilde, a worried crease between her eyebrows. 

"How are you feeling?" Eva asked her. 

Vilde shrugged, smiling slightly, more for their benefit than her own mood. "I'm okay. I'm totally over him now." She turned to Noora. "And Chris told me what you said to him. Thank you for defending me." 

Noora's heart softened, and then she felt a surge of guilt. The texts from the night before came to mind, and she felt so bad. She needed to end it. She couldn't do this to Vilde. "Of course," she said out loud. "That's what friends are for, right?" She went and wrapped an arm around Vilde's shoulders, hugging her tight for a second. 

"Anyway," she said when they parted. "Nobody cares about what happened with me and William. Everyone's losing their shit over Chris." The girls looked at Chris with questioning frowns. 

"It's not me! Jesus!" Chris exclaimed. 

" _Penetrator_ Chris! He hooked up with someone at the Halloween party, and his girlfriend found out about it," Vilde explained. 

"But I thought you said that wasn't Chris!" Eva cried. Noora looked at her in confusion. What was going on with her? 

"Oh, he hooked up with someone at the party. I saw it," Sana said. Noora looked between them all like she was watching a tennis match. She was so at a loss. 

"His girlfriend went psycho when she found out," Vilde added. 

"You saw it?" Eva asked Sana, an alarmed tone to her voice. 

"Yeah, on the staircase." 

"The staircase?!"  

Noora was about to ask for clarification when they were ambushed by a group of three other girls. The rest happened fast, but at the same time, it was like the world was moving in slow motion. The girl in middle took Eva's shoulder and spun her around, then hit her in the face with her fist. Noora's jaw dropped. She rushed to pull Eva back and away from the other girl, but soon enough, they were all entangled in a full on brawl. Vilde was screaming hysterically and hitting whatever she could hit with her bag. Chris was busying herself with keeping one of the remaining girls from getting to Eva. Sana was trying to get the first one off her friend, pushing her face away with her hand and putting her body between the two of them.  

Noora had never been in a fight before. She tried to separate everyone from Eva, worry building up in her body. "Eva! Eva!" she called, having lost her friend in the midst of the brawl. What the fuck was going on? 

Finally, some guys came and helped separate the two groups. It was a minute before they were successful, and Chris kept trying to go back to the other girls in her surge of adrenaline. Noora rushed to Eva's side. "Are you okay?" 

"You fucking whore!" They heard the main girl shout, presumably directed at Eva. Noora looked at her. And suddenly it made sense. Eva's panic, the punch, everything. That girl must've been Chris's girlfriend, which made Eva... 

Fucking hell. 

"Eva..." Noora looked at her friend. She looked like she was about to cry, understandably. Now was not the time to ask for explanations. "Eva, are you hurt?" she asked instead, putting a hand on her shoulder. 

"I'm fine..." she said weakly. The girls huddled around her protectively. Noora looked around. They mirrored the same looks of mixed shock and concern she must've been wearing. Leaving the questions for later, she wrapped a protective arm around her friend's shoulders, holding her close. Sana mimicked her gesture, and they all stood there for a while, holding Eva, protecting her. 

 

***** 

Eva explained everything to them later. They were in her bedroom, all sitting on her bed, and no one talked or interrupted until she was done. She'd been crying profusely throughout the whole thing, pacing her room back and forth, and while Noora obviously didn't think what she'd done was right, she couldn't help but feel for her friend. 

When she finished talking, the girls shared a look. Sana was the first one to talk. "Do you think Jonas knows?" 

Eva hesitated. "Yeah... I mean, he hasn't said he knows, but... I-I texted him earlier and he didn't reply, so... I think he knows..." 

"What about Chris?" Vilde asked. "Has he said anything to you?" 

Eva shook her head. "No, he hasn't said anything. And good thing, too. I can't deal with him right now..." 

At least she was seeing things properly now. "You have to talk to Jonas," Noora said after a while. "Explain everything." 

"I want to... I really want to, but... Isak says he doesn't want to see me right now..." And with that, Eva broke down in sobs again. All the girls got up and went over to hug her. They led her back to the bed and sat all around her. Noora couldn't imagine how it must feel. Eva and Jonas were soulmates, and one night's mistake had ruined their relationship. This just confirmed Noora's beliefs. Being someone's soulmate wasn't enough to make things work. People acted like it was, but there was so much more to it. The universe could only do so much for two people. It didn't really matter if they didn't do things right. Noora knew that, and now, so did Eva. 

She thought about her own soulmate. She wondered what he was telling Chris about it, if anything. She didn't really trust William to call his friend out on ruining Eva and Jonas's relationship. She wondered if they ever got together – something she doubted would _ever_ happen –, he would understand this. She wondered if she could ever trust him to know that being soulmates wasn't enough. She wondered if he would ever break her heart. 

It wasn't a farfetched thought. With William's track record, Noor had a hard time thinking he _wouldn't_ break her heart if she let him. It was one of the reasons why she refused to give him and their bond a shot. She couldn't handle another heartbreak. Once was enough, even if it meant losing her soulmate.


	7. The Aftermath

School the next morning was awkward to say the least. Everyone looked at Noora in sideways glances in the halls, followed by hushed comments between groups. It made her feel like a circus animal. She met Vilde on the stairs and they went down together. 

"How do you think she is today?" She asked Noora, clearly meaning Eva. 

"Not sure. I tried calling her earlier but it went to voicemail." She bunched her shoulders in a self-protecting gesture. "I think she just needs us to be there for her, you know? No matter what." 

"Yeah, I get that," Vilde said gloomily. The whole situation was crazy. But the only thing Noora knew was that Eva needed her friends right now, and they couldn't let her down. Otherwise who knows what might happen to her. 

Noora pushed open the door to the courtyard and both she and Vilde spotted Eva immediately. The vision of the girl looking so torn down broke Noora's heart. She walked over and wrapped a protective arm around the other's shoulders, squeezing her slightly in reassurance. 

"How are you?" she asked, her voice soft, like she was talking to a wounded animal. 

"I'm fine," Eva said, rather unconvincingly. 

"If it were me, I would be really upset," Vilde said. "I heard that Chris's girlfriend told everyone in school about... you know..." 

Noora almost wanted to smack Vilde to make her stop talking, but she refrained. Eva looked like she was mulling this over. "Has Chris said anything about it?" she asked at length. 

Vilde shrugged. She seemed to hesitate before saying, "There are a lot of people saying you're... slutty." 

"Vilde!" Noora called. Unbelievable. The girl looked back at her, and Noora just raised her eyebrows, a clear signal for her to stop talking. 

"I'm just telling the truth. She should know, to be ready for it." Noora closed her eyes and shook her head, pinching the bridge of her nose with fingers. Even if she lived forever, she could not decipher how Vilde's brain worked. "There's a rumour going around that the other girls have blacklisted you," she added. 

Eva frowned slightly, but she didn't look too enthralled in that particular detail. "What does that even mean?" 

"I'm not really sure," Vilde confessed. "But there was this girl who was blacklisted last year, and they cut off her hair." 

Noora stomped her foot. "Can you stop that?" 

"I'm just telling you what I've heard!" Vilde replied, almost offended. 

Noora was about to say something back when laughter coming from behind them called their attention. They all turned to see the group of girls talking, rather obnoxiously really. Noora recognised the girl who'd punched Eva, as well as some others who were in the fight a couple of days before. She also recognised the group of girls from the first school party, most prominently the girl who'd called Eva a slut right before Noora introduced herself. Something felt off. 

It didn't take long for her to know why. The girls parted, and that same girl came towards them, accompanied by two others. "Good job, Eva!" said one of them. Noora recognised her as the girl who William had been chatting up at the Halloween party. She cursed herself for the pang of jealousy that came with that realisation. 

"Excuse me?" Noora said. 

"Excuse you?" said Party Girl. 

Noora scoffed, squaring her shoulders, as if preparing for a physical brawl. "You seem like really _charming_ ladies." 

"Oh, that's so sweet, defending your friend," Party Girl retorted. "It seems like you guys are really close. I'm sure you'd like to continue that way. Just wait until she pisses all over your lives." 

Noora didn't know what to say to that. She looked at Eva, a question in her eyes, but the other girl was looking at the ground, shoulders sunken. She decided it was best to drop it. But she couldn't just do nothing. Decidedly, she took out her phone and stepped back from the girls. 

 

**Your friend needs to do something**    
 **about his girlfriend.**  

 

Unsurprisingly, the reply didn't take too long. 

 

**Sorry?**  

**Your buddy? Chris or whatever?**    
   
 **He made out  with my friend on**    
 **Halloween**  

**Now his girlfriend is hellbent on**    
 **turning everybody against her.**  

**So?**  

**So?!**  

**This is just as much  
                                                            his fault as hers!** 

**I'm failing to see how this  
has anything**  **to do with me  
though?** 

**Can you just talk to him?**  

✓  ** _Seen at_** ** _10:36_**  

 

There was a long pause before he replied again. 

 

**I'll talk to him.**  

 

Noora sighed. She didn't like that she had to reach out to William, but it was to help Eva. If she had to go back on her word for a while for that, she'd do it happily. 

 

***** 

**I spoke to Chris. He says** **Iben** **has been ghosting him.**  

**H** **e'll try to talk to her about your friend.**  

 

Noora sighed in relief when she read the two texts. She had to admit, she was a bit surprised at his delivering on his word. For a second, she almost thought he might not be as bad as she thought. But she quickly shoved that thought away. She refused to even slightly like him.  

 

**Ok. Thanks.**  

**That's it?**  

**What else do you want?**  

**I don't know.**  

**H** **ow about a date?**  

 

Noora scoffed aloud at that. 

 

**No way.**  

**Come on, Noora.**  

**We have a cosmic bond.**  

**A** **re you really going to ignore**    
 **the will of the universe?**  

**T** **he universe has no say**    
 **in this.**  

**I make you see colour.**  

**H** **ow many guys can say that?**  

**That is irrelevant.**  

**I** **will get you, Noora** **Sætre** **.**  

**Y** **ou can bet on that.**  

**Whatever.**  

 

"What are you smiling about?" 

Noora startled. She quickly put her phone away and looked up. Sana stood in front of her, knowing look in her eye. The blonde flushed. 

"Nothing..." She hadn't even noticed she'd been smiling at all. She hadn't meant to. She didn't like the thought of anything William said to her making her smile. It got in the way of her not standing him in any shape or form. 

"Okay..." Sana took a seat next to her on the windowsill. "Have you heard from Eva at all?" 

"I saw her this morning. She seemed so down. I don't know what to do to cheer her up." 

Sana shrugged. "I don't think there's anything we _can_  do. She fucked up, and she knows it." 

"Sana, come on. She made a mistake," Noora said. She knew, deep down, that she was right. But she didn't want to crucify Eva for this. She was only human, and while Jonas might be her soulmate, she could sense that things between them hadn't been as good as they once were. She must've been feeling alone and lost, and Christoffer saw it. They were both to blame. 

"I know, but It's no good for us to coddle her and pretend she didn't fuck up. She did, and she knows it. The best thing we can do is to show her that we're still here despite it." 

That did make sense. "Yeah, you're right..." 

Sana went on, "We should just give her some space. She needs to figure things out. No good for us to pressure her about it. When she's ready, she'll come to us." 

"I think that we should just keep an eye on her, though. Try and cheer her up," Noora replied. 

"We can try. But doubt she's in any mood to be cheery," Sana said with another shrug. "Anyway, I got Biology now. See you later." She got up and was about to leave, but instead she turned back. "And whoever it was that was that was making you smile like that, I like them already." 

Noora blushed again. She didn't say anything, just looked down and waited for Sana to leave. _God_ , why did she let that happen? 

 

***** 

"Is he still not answering you?" 

Eva's eyes were trained on the other side of the road, where Jonas and Isak were talking, seemingly unaware of their eyes on them. Eva wore the same sad face she'd been sporting for the past few days. Noora felt helpless near her, and she hated it.  

She shrugged. "I get why he isn't. I just... I wish he would give me a chance to explain. Try to make things right. I mean, he's my _soulmate_. That has to count for something, right?" 

Noora felt her heart clench in her chest. "Right..." She felt like a hypocrite even as she said it. But she shoved her own problems aside, and focused on her friend. "But if you want to explain yourself to him, you should. He can't keep shutting you out. You have every right to go and talk to him about it. Just go up to him and talk. Then, if you want, leave. Or stay and let him talk to you. Just do what you need to do. He can't deny you that." 

Eva shook her head. "I don't wanna push myself onto him. He has every right to be angry with me. I know that. I'll just have to wait until he's ready to hear me out. I trust him to come around to that eventually. Jonas isn't the kind of person to just drop something like this without trying to understand all the sides." 

Noora nodded. She hated to see her friend so heartbroken, but she remembered Sana's words. She wouldn't pressure her into anything. She remembered what it was like, sinking into that pain. She would've only wished for better friends to support her during that time, and that was exactly what she'd do. 

"Hey," she said after a moment, taking out her phone and ear plugs. "Whenever I'm down, there's always one thing that helps me feel better. Now, the only thing I tell you is that you don't laugh. It's silly, but it works. I guarantee it." 

Eva looked at her suspiciously. "Okay..." 

Noora handed her an ear plug and placed the other one in her own ear. Then, she navigated her phone to her music library and selected the song. She shot Eva a smile before it started playing in her ear. 

_Oh whoa-oh-oh... Oh-_ _whoa_ _-oh-oh... Oh-_ _woah_ _-oh-_ _ohhh_ _..._  

"Are you serious?" Eva said, clearly hoping it was some sort of joke. 

"The best cure for sadness I know, I'm telling you," Noora replied with a laugh. " _You know you love me, I know you care... Just shout whenever—uh-uh—And I'll be there... You are my love, you are my heart... And we will never ever_ _ever_ _be apart... Are we an item—_ " 

 "Justin Bieber? Cool." 

Noora was startled by the now-familiar voice of her soulmate. She whipped her head around and found him sitting beside her on the step. Her eyes widened at she looked at him, panicking for a moment that he would talk about their on-going text exchanges. 

He clearly picked up on her discomfort, and smiled widely. She wiped her expression and said, "It's not... something I listen to, like for real... Whatever, I don't have to explain myself to you anyway." 

His smile only grew wider at her babbling. She cursed herself for letting him get to her. 

"Is there something you want, or are you just here to gawk at me like that?" 

He laughed, shaking his head. "I thought maybe we could go to my place. You know, do some... homework. Yeah." 

_What?_  What kind of game was he playing now? She could see the glint in his brown-green eyes, how this all amused him. He was pretending not to know what they were. He had the power to expose her at any given time, but he was playing into her own charade instead. Why? 

Noora decided to play along. "Okay, I'm sorry... Wilhelm, is it?" 

He laughed again. "William, actually." 

"Okay, William... Doesn't that answer your question right there, though?" 

"Why?" 

Noora scoffed. "I don't even know your name." 

He gave her a secretive smile, that said, _Y_ _ou know exactly what my name is_. But instead he said. "You can call me anything you want, I don't mind." 

She was thrown off a bit then. How could he be so casual about this? Even just looking at him, Noora couldn't help but notice all the colours that composed him. Did he notice hers, too? 

She breathed deeply, concealing it with a sigh. "Look, I get that you think that line works on the whole of the female gender, but I'll tell you this right now, think of it as advice: you've been watching too many 80's rom-coms. It's a bit outdated by now." 

He laughed again. Was everything she said a joke to him? Probably, considering they were just playing pretend for her own sake. She couldn't help but feel the weight of Eva's stare on her then. He said, "Are you coming?" 

Noora's eyes widened again. Seriously? "No!" 

William nodded, before standing up. Finally, she could breathe easily.  

Almost. 

He turned around halfway, looking at her for a moment before saying, "Let me know if you change your mind. You have my number." 

And there it was. Noora watched him as he walked over to his car, getting in and driving away fast. She looked at Eva, and found her looking back, eyebrow raised in a question. _Okay, calm down. You can save this still._ "He's such a jerk, isn't he? Thinking he can just come over and talk like that..." 

Eva waited, seemingly expecting something more. "You have his number?" she said at last. 

"What? No, of course not. He's just messing around. I don't have his number, nor do I want it." Noora knew that she was talking too much, speaking too fast. It made it seem like she was lying. Which she was, but Eva didn't know that. 

"Okay..." Eva said, and then added, "Why did you call him that?" 

"Call him what?" 

"Wilhelm. You know his name is William, even if it is just because Vilde won't shut up about him." 

"It's this trick I learned on _Suits_. Always wanted to use it." 

"Wow" 

Noora looked at Eva again. "Impressed?" 

Eva shrugged. "More like surprised. That you listen to Justin Bieber _and_  watch Suits." 

Noora's face brightened up. "Was that a joke?" 

"Maybe?" 

"You made a joke! This is progress!" 

Eva mumbled something back, but Noora made the mistake of looking at the spot directly in front of them, where William's car had sat just moments before. She wanted to hate him. She couldn't believe that he'd come up to her like that. And the whole conversation had been way out of line. But, despite all this, Noora still felt her heart racing in her chest with remnants of adrenaline. He made her blood boil, but she couldn't say that she minded it entirely. Which wasn't what she wanted at all. She cursed the universe. Out of all the people in the _world_ , why did her soulmate have to be _him_? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I haven't updated in months, but I've had a bit of a block. I think it's mostly gone now, but this might not be the best work still, so bear with me. I'll try to post the next update soon, but college is kind of crazy right now as well, so I can't make any promises.
> 
> Thank you for being patient and I hope you like this chapter!


	8. The Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry if this is a bit shorter than my usual chapters, I'm just trying to get back into the rhythm of writing this. But you have some Noorhelm angst (sorta), some girl squad scheming which is always nice, and then some cute banter! I'll try to update again soon, but I honestly can't promise anything. Enjoy!

"What the hell was that?" 

Noora stopped next William where he stood near his locker in the hallway. It'd been hard catching him alone, what with his constantly being surrounded by an entire hoard of his Russ buddies. But finally, nearly two days after their last encounter, she'd managed to catch him unprotected, and in a somewhat private setting. There weren't many people in the hallway now, and whenever someone walked by, Noora just pretended to be writing something on her phone to avoid being associated with him. It was risky, but she wanted to confront him about it, and he wasn't getting away from her now. 

"What was what?" he said innocently, turning to her with that shit-eating smirk he loved to wear. 

"Don't play dumb, you know what," she snapped at him. 

"I was just having a little fun. You should try it sometime." 

"Eva was suspicious. I don't need that." 

"Well, she has reason to be suspicious, considering you're lying to her. And the rest of your friends." 

Noora huffed. "Don't act so high and mighty with me." 

"Am I mistaken, then? Have you told them about me?" 

She sighed. "Of course I haven't told them! And I'm not going to." 

William shook his head. "Why not, Noora? You didn't plan it. I certainly didn't, either. It's the universe's will." 

"Stop saying that!" 

"Then, stop denying it." He paused for a second, folding his arms across his chest and leaning his shoulder on the lockers, facing her completely. "We're soulmates, Noora. Is that such a bad thing?" 

Noora looked at him for a while. If only she knew nothing about him. If only she was ignorant to his exploits and conquests and games. If only she could just turn him into a clean slate. Was that even possible now? Could she ever just forget everything he did before? 

"Yes," she said at last. "It is. Because I don't like you. I don't like the way you just walk around like you own the world, or how you take everything and everyone for granted." 

"You talk a lot about me for someone who's never actually taken the effort to get to know me." 

"Am I wrong?" 

"Yes, I think you are." 

Noora knew she wasn't being fair. But she had a hard time seeing and thinking clearly when it came to William. Her emotions collided with her judgement, and she never knew which to trust. 

"Let me take you out," William said, his voice soft and low, almost a whisper. He was respecting her decision to keep it a secret now. "Let's go somewhere and talk. None of this bullshit—" he gestured widely around them— "Just you and me." 

She felt so tempted to accept. Something in her chest begged her to. But she couldn't. In her brain, she knew she couldn't. Even if it was just because he'd broken her friend's heart. She couldn't let herself fall for him, for a variety of reasons. But, perhaps most important of all, she couldn't have handled it if he decided to break her heart, too.  

It didn't matter that they were soulmates—soulmates separated all the time. Hell, some soulmates never dated at all. All it took was one look at Eva now to see that being someone's soulmate was no guarantee that you'd love them forever. Or that they'd love you. Noora didn't want to go through that. She couldn't ignore the colours around her, and she didn't want to. But she could ignore the person that had given them to her, if it was to protect herself. After all, that was what she'd been doing her whole life. 

"I can't," she told him at last. "I just... can't. I'm sorry." She didn't know why she was even apologising. She was sure he would just go and find some other girl to entertain himself with. Or, at least, that was what she told herself in order to be convinced not to engage with him. "Please, don't talk about this again." 

William looked at her, a crushing intensity to his dark eyes. She noticed how they were missing those flecks of green she'd seen before, and she didn't know whether it was because they weren't outside in the sun, or because of something else. Something he _felt_. "Okay. I won't mention it again." 

Noora was shaken. "Really?" She asked, disbelieving. 

He nodded once. "Really. If that's what you want." 

"It's what I want," she said, though her voice was thinner than before. 

"Well then. I just have to respect that, don't I?" 

"Y-Yes... You do." 

"So, I do." 

Well, that was unexpected. 

"Okay," Noora said. "I'll, huh... see you, then. Around." 

William smiled meekly, and Noora could swear there was a flicker of pain in his face. "I'll see you." 

 

*** 

"It's just so sad, you know? I mean, they're _soulmates._ That should count for something." Vilde threw her food around her plate with her fork. Noora thought she was talking endlessly about Eva and Jonas' situation in part to distract them all from the fact that she wasn't eating at all. Noora frowned at the thought. 

"It doesn't count for shit when one of them cheats on the other," Sana replied, munching on a piece of carrot. 

"That's true," Noora agreed.  

"Where is she, anyway? Did she not come in today?" Chris asked. 

Noora shrugged. "I didn't see her in Spanish, but I don't know." 

There was a rather uncomfortable silence between the girls for a while, but then Vilde said, "I have an idea!" 

"Oh, this is going to be good," Sana commented, but poised herself to hear her. 

Vilde squared her shoulders like she was about to make the presentation of her life. Noora braced herself. "We should have a sleepover!" 

A beat of stunned silence. 

"A sleepover?" Sana repeated. 

"Yeah!" 

Noora waited for her to elaborate. She didn't. "What would that do?" 

Vilde rolled her eyes, like it was so obvious. "Imagine it. A girls' night, just us. It would help her get her mind off everything with Jonas. We could distract her with games and fun stuff. And then we can make sure she doesn't cry herself to sleep. It's the perfect plan." 

Noora thought it was a far cry from 'the perfect plan' but... "It's actually not a bad idea." 

"I'm in," Chris chirped immediately. 

Sana pursed her lips in thought. "I'll try to make an appearance." Noora had come to know that that meant 'yes'. 

"Awesome! Whose house shall we use?" Vilde asked. 

A collective shrug. "Yours?" Noora offered. The blonde shook her head vehemently. "Okay... Well, Eva's then?" 

"It would be better as a surprise, no?" Chris said. 

Noora sighed. She looked over at Sana. The girl shook her head. "My brother has his dumb friends over all the time, mine is a no go." 

"Fine!" Noora gave up. "We can do it at my house. I'll just... warn my roommates." She could already hear Eskild's excitement; and Linn's complaining about the noise they were sure to make. A whisper of a headache began forming behind her forehead. 

"It's so cool that you live in a house with roommates, though!" Vilde chimed. Noora almost disagreed, but then she thought of the alternative and decided roommates, as annoying as they may be, won out. 

 

*** 

 **Can we still talk?**  

 **Because I'm just about ready to scream**    
**at Chris and I really don't** **wanna** **give him**    
**another thing to be** **pissy** **about.**  

 

Noora's phone chimed two consecutive texts, and her heart somersaulted at the sight of the name on the screen. William had said he wouldn't ask her on a date again, that he wouldn't push anything on her, and as much as Noora didn't trust him, she had a feeling he meant it. Not because of his track record, obviously, but because of the look in his face that morning. Perhaps that was why she wrote back. 

 

 **Sure** **, we can talk.**  

 

The reply came fast, like it always did from him. 

 

 **He just can't shut up about your friend.**  

 **H** **e thinks he's ruined it with her.**  

 **I** **'** **ve** **never seen him this upset over**    
**a girl.**  

 **Do you think they're...**  

 

Noora didn't know if he hadn't finished the sentence because he was respecting her wish to ignore their bond or because maybe it hurt him to say it, even in writing. 

 

 **No, they're not.**  

 **Eva already has a soulmate.**  

 **Really?**  

 **Are they dating?**  

 **N** **ot anymore.**  

 **S** **orry to hear that.**  

 **Your friend is upset because he**    
**thinks he's ruined it with Eva?**  

 **Yeah.**  

 **I** **s that hard to believe?**  

 

Noora could almost hear the laugh in his voice as she read his text. She shook her head, even if there was no one to see her do it. 

 

 **Just didn't think Penetrators**    
**had feelings, that's all.**  

 **Ouch.**  

 

Noora laughed, and stopped herself immediately. 

 

 **B** **ut if he actually liked Eva,**    
**why not just... break up with**   **his gf  
                                                BEFORE making out ****with her?**  

 **I can't pretend to understand**    
**his reasoning** **tbh** **.**  

 **Would you have done**    
**things** **differently?**  

 

Dangerous. Noora was travelling dangerous ground here. 

 

 **Totally.**  

 **You may be hellbent on believ** **ing**    
**I'm the devil itself**  

 **But I do have** **a moral code, you know.**  

 **And a conscience.**  

 **Excuse me if I hold out on the notion.**  

 **N** **o worries.**  

 **I** **f you're holding out, it means I**    
**still have a chance** **;)**  

 

Noora rolled her eyes. 

 

 **I have a sleepover to prepare.**  

 **I** **can't be your therapist anymore.**  

 **You're ditching me for a sleepover? Wow.**  

 **C** **onsider me offended and hurt.**  

 **Good. Looks like we both got**    
**something out of this chat after all** **.**  

 **You just live to torment me,**    
**don't you Noora Amalie** **Sætre** **?**  

**Bye, Willhelm.**


	9. The Sleepover

Friday night. One apartment. Five girls. Two very annoyed roommates. 

"Why does it have to be in our apartment?" Linn asked for what had to be the fiftieth time. 

"What if I want to bring my date home? I can't bring anyone up here with five schoolgirls throwing a rave in the living room!" Eskild whined. 

"Okay, first of all, it's not a rave; we're not in the 80s. Second of all, It's for a good cause. Eva is in pain. This will help distract her for a while. Can't I just have this one thing?" Noora said, folding her arms across her chest. She was not backing down on this. Eva needed it, and she'd make sure she got it. 

Eskild groaned. "Ugh, fiiiine. Will there be alcohol, though?" 

Noora rolled her eyes. "Probably, I don't know." 

"Right, 'cause you're a party pooper, I forgot about it for a second." Eskild made a show of considering the issue. "If there's alcohol, I'm in." 

Noora shook her head. "I don't need you to be _in_ anything except your bedroom." 

"I'm going to _my_ room," Linn announced, and left. 

"See? One of you is cooperative," Noora said to Eskild, pointing to where Linn had disappeared to. 

"Linn is not cooperative, she'd depressed. But hey, maybe your slumber party could help with that," Eskild said. 

"Linn needs more than a slumber party to help her," Noora said a bit regretfully. 

Eskild sighed. "So you want me to let you have the house to yourself, and you're not letting me join the party? That's just bad roommate conduct. I might have the grounds to evict you." 

"Evict me? You wouldn't survive a week without me here!" 

"We survived before you came along!" 

"We're not having this conversation right now," Noora said, turning around.  

"Please, let me join the party!" Eskild begged. "I promise I'll behave. To the best of my ability." 

Noora ran a hand over her face. She would never hear the end of this. "Fine. You can join." 

She heard Eskild whoop and go into his bedroom, muttering something about his cutest pyjamas. 

"This should be a fun night..." she said to herself. 

 

*** 

"Your apartment is so cool, Noora!" Vilde exclaimed after a quick tour of the place, courtesy of a very excited Eskild, while Noora was preparing snacks for the evening. 

"Yeah, it's really great," Chris agreed. Sana just nodded. Noora looked at Eva as the other girl glanced around, not really saying anything. 

"Thanks! Are you hungry? I made pasta and chicken." Noora went over to the stove, tasting stuff and adjusting seasonings. 

"Oh yeah, let's eat!" Eskild said. 

"You have to set the table first!" Noora replied. 

"What? Why?" 

"Because _I_ made dinner, and _they_ ," Noora gestured at the girls, "are our guests." 

Eskild shot her a heated glare, but complied. Soon, they were all seated at the table, eating and chatting avidly. Noora stole a quick glance at Eva, seated beside her, as she moved her food around the plate. 

"Are you okay?" Noora whispered to her. 

Eva jolted, then shook her head. "I'm fine, it's nothing. I just don't feel like talking." 

Noora debated on whether or not she should just leave it at that. But the whole point of the night was for Eva to lighten up, take her mind off her troubles for a while and have a good time. So Noora said, "We don't have to talk about it. But I think you shouldn't stop yourself from enjoying tonight because of the drama with Jonas and Chris. They are not invited tonight. This is a girls' night – with Eskild. For a few hours, you can just forget about them and have a good time with your friends. Just because you made a mistake does not mean you should banish yourself from fun forever. That's not how it works in the world." 

Eva considered her for a  long time, and Noora didn't falter under her examination. She was worried about her friend, worried that she might never be the Eva she'd met, the Eva she'd grown so fond of. It would be a dark day before Noora let that happen without fighting it. 

"Okay," she said at last. "Tonight, we have the time of our lives." 

"Yes!" Noora exclaimed, earning the silence from the rest of the table, who looked at her in surprise and confusion. "Girls' night!" she said to all of them, and they cheered, Eskild included. 

 

*** 

After dinner, they played a few games: Noora found an ancient game of Twister among her things – Eskild had won that. Then Eskild brought out a Monopoly board that almost ruined all of their friendships for good – Sana emerged victorious after a ruthless campaign. Noora was sure she could emerged unscathed from the night when Vilde shouted, after one too many glasses of wine, "Truth or dare!" 

No. This wasn't good. This wasn't good at all. 

The group yelled noises of agreement, and Noora didn't have a chance to argue as they sat in a circle, a bottle in the middle, and started the game. "Eva, you go first. Spin and ask the person it lands on a question," said Vilde. 

Eva spun the bottle. It whirled and whirled on the floor, slowly coming to a stop. Noora prayed to whatever gods existed that it wasn't her. 

"Sana," Eva said, a hint of surprise in her voice. Noora glanced at Sana, who sat impassive across from her. She could swear she saw dread in the other girl's eyes. "Okay... Truth or dare?" 

"Truth," said Sana, to no one's surprise, really. 

"Have you ever kissed anyone?" Eva asked tentatively. Noora heard the hint of uncertainty in her voice, like she was afraid Sana might take it badly. 

"No," Sana said matter-of-factly. And that was that. Vilde looked like she was about to ask something else, but Sana reached for the bottle before she had the chance and spun it. 

They played for a while before the bottle turned to Noora. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, even though she knew it had to eventually point at her; it was simple probability. Eskild was the one to spin it that time, and he didn't even hesitate when he asked, "Who's the person you've been texting so much lately?" 

Noora's heart stopped. She hadn't realised Eskild had noticed. But Eskild was extremely perceptive, and Noora hadn't been careful enough around the house as she was around the girls. "A friend," she said, hoping her voice sounded steady. 

"What friend?" Vilde asked eagerly. 

"It's not your turn to ask questions. I answered Eskild's, it's my turn." Noora reached for the bottle. 

"You're awfully defensive about this," Eva crooned. 

Noora shrugged in an effort to seem nonchalant. "It's just a friend. From Madrid." 

"A special friend?" Vilde insisted. 

"Okay, either this game changed since I last played it or you are all breaking the rules here!" Noora exclaimed, spinning the bottle decisively. But the game had been forgotten. 

"Noora, are you dating someone?" Eva asked, looking at her expectantly. Maybe Noora had done too good a job getting her to forget about her own problems. She'd drunk a whole bottle of wine by herself. Her eyes were unfocused, but their gaze on Noora was steady, demanding. 

"God, no! It's just a friend, can you drop it?" Noora said, aware that her voice was shrill and on the verge of hysteria. 

"Why wouldn't you tell us if you have a boyfriend? Unless... it's not a boy? Is it a girl?" Vilde's face lit up. "Oh my God, Noora! Do you have a girlfriend? It's okay if you do!" 

"Vilde, no! I know it's okay, but I don't have a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend. It's just a _friend_." Despite it being a desperate attempt at getting them off her back, Noora wondered for a moment if that was what William was. She didn't outright hate him; not anymore. But thinking of him as a friend was... strange. William was not the kind of person she was friends with. But then what had been that conversation earlier that week? It was the kind of talk friends had, right?  

This was too complicated to debate internally right now. 

"Okay, okay, I think we can back off Noora for now," Eskild said, shooting Noora and apologetic look. She'd be forcing him to do the dishes for a week for that. Eva pouted but subsided, whereas Vilde eyed Noora with a new sense of purpose. In that moment, Noora feared what she might be capable of. If she remembered this in the morning, she was afraid Vilde would never drop this until she knew the truth. 

 

*** 

Later that night, after most of their friends had passed out, Noora and Sana sat by the living room window, looking out into the city, lights gleaming against the dark night. The colours were rich and made Noora's head feel light. Yellow and white shone like stars against the deep blue of the sky, the big moon with yellow overtones that she'd never known it had before. 

"It's a beautiful night," she whispered absentmindedly. 

"The moon's colour is really unusual for this time of year," Sana observed.  

Noora almost recited one of her well-rehearsed comments about her lack of ability to see colour, but she stopped short. _Sana_  had commented on the colour. Noora considered her for a while before saying, "You see colour." Not a question. 

Sana shifted her gaze to Nora, facing her squarely. "I do." 

"That means..." Noora's head was reeling at the revelation. Sana had never even hinted at the possibility that she didn't see in black and white. Why not? 

"Yes," Sana completed. "I've met my soulmate." 

Noora wanted to ask so many questions. Who was it? Was she dating them? Did she not thinking they were the romantic sort of soulmates? Maybe she thought soulmates weren't even meant to date at all. Most of her questions echoed her own incessant inner conflict. But she only said, "Do you love them?" 

Sana glanced at Noora before looking back out the window. "You always love your soulmate. That's the point, isn't it? But I don't think you should be with someone just because they're your soulmate. You should be with them because you're in love, because they make you happy. Because they bring out something in you that you couldn't have known you had without them." 

Noora fell silent after that. Sana didn't say anything else for a while. But eventually, she spoke, low so only Noora could hear it. "You see it too, don't you?" 

Noora almost lied. She almost denied it and acted the part she'd been playing for weeks now. But it didn't feel right. "Yeah. I do." 

Sana's face showed the ghost of a smile. "I'm not going to ask you who it is, don't worry. But I will say this: whatever is holding you back from it, you should set it aside long enough to decide whether or not it could be good for you to be with that person. Think about if there was nothing stopping you, no complications and it was just the two of you, would you give it a shot? If the answer is yes, then you owe to yourself to give it a try." 

Noora mulled it over. She should've known it would be Sana to give her the advice that would finally make her think differently about her relationship with William. She should've known Sana would nudge her in the right direction. But Noora didn't think she was quite ready to decide anything yet. "What about you?" 

Sana shrugged. "My complications are different. I'm still deciding." 

"Well, whatever you decide, I'm here for you. Whatever you need," Noora offered. 

"Thanks. And me too." Sana smiled at her; Noora noted how the moonlight made her shine in hues of yellow and orange, with hints of blue as well. It made for a lovely picture. Sana was quite beautiful, Noora noted. She didn't know why she hadn't really noticed until now. 

 

*** 

 **Are you awake?**  

 

Noora hid her phone under the flap of her sleeping back while the others slept soundly around the floor. She'd originally planned to have them all sleep in her room, but there was no moving Vilde, Eva and Chris. She waited impatiently for the reply, gnawing at her thumb until it came. 

 

 **Party dying down?**  

 **It died when** **Vilde** **passed out in**    
**the middle of the living room.**  

 **B** **ut not before a gruelling game of**    
**truth or dare.**  

 **S** **ounds dangerous.**  

 **I** **t was quite stressful.**  

 **D** **id my name come up by**    
**any chance?**  

 **You wish.**  

 **A guy can dream, right?**  

 **B** **ut to what do I owe this pleasure?**  

 **I** **think this is actually the first time**    
**you've texted me first.**  

 **It's nothing, really.**  

 **I'm just not sleepy and I thought**    
**you might be awake.**  

 **C** **areful Noora.**  

 **I might start thinking you enjoy**    
**talking to me.**  

 **And what if I do?**  

 **I thought you couldn't stand me.**  

 **A person can change**    
**their mind, right?**  

 **I just thought you were someone**    
**of solid opinions.**  

 **I am, about most things.**  

 **I'm not most things?**  

 **You sure know how to make**    
**a guy feel special.**  

 **Well, I do try** **ahah**  

 **Wow**  

 **A** **compliment AND a laugh?**  

 **M** **ust be my lucky night.**  

 **Yeah, don't push it.**  

 **I** **might just change my mind again.**  

 **Sorry.**  

 **B** **ut I'm glad you texted.**  

 **H** **ow's Eva doing?**  

 **D** **id your master plan work?**  

 **I** **think so, maybe even a little too well.**  

 **What about Chris?**  

 **He's alright.**  

 **Just wait until the next party and**    
**he'll be right back to his normal self.**  

 **The Penetrator way.**  

 **You know it.**  

 **What about you?**  

 **??**  

 **Are you back to your old self?**  

 **Parties and drinks and girls?**  

 **Asking me if I'm over you yet?**  

 **No??**  

 **I** **t's okay, you don't have to admit it.**  

 **B** **ut to answer your question: no.**  

 **Y** **ou** **might** **very well kill me for this,**    
**but there is no girl after you.**  

 

Noora's breath hitched. Somewhere near her, someone turned in their bag. 

 

 **What if we're not meant to be  
                                                                together like that?**  

 **I'm willing to take my chances.**  

 **C** **hoice is yours.**  

 

 _Yeah,_  she thought, _that's part of the problem._  

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so in face of the lack of noorhelm fics out there, I decided to come up with my own little work. I would love to hear your opinions and feedback as I go, and you're more than welcome to come and talk to me about it over on my blog (@williamagnussons). Thanks for reading!
> 
> Oh, and a huge shoutout/thank you to my proofreader prerna a.k.a. @rosecallloways on tumblr, she's awesome :)


End file.
